By Sheila Runnels, LPC, NCC, C-DBT — Wander and Wisdom Wellness, LLC
When life feels overwhelming, our first instinct is often to make the pain stop right now. But distress tolerance — one of the core skill areas in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) — teaches us something different: how to survive the moment without making things worse.
These skills aren’t about avoiding emotions; they’re about managing them with intention until the intensity passes. Here are three DBT distress tolerance tools you can start using today:
💧 1. TIP: Change Your Body Chemistry
When emotions run high, your body reacts first. The TIP skill (Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, Paired Muscle Relaxation) helps calm your nervous system quickly.
- Splash cold water on your face
- Do a burst of movement (like jumping jacks or a brisk walk)
- Slow your breathing — in for 4, out for 6
These small shifts help your body regulate so your mind can catch up.
🌤️ 2. Self-Soothe Using Your Senses
Use your five senses to bring yourself back to the present:
- Light a calming candle or smell lavender
- Wrap yourself in a soft blanket
- Listen to a grounding playlist
- Notice what you see around you — colors, shapes, light
This practice signals safety to your brain, easing emotional intensity.
🧭 3. IMPROVE the Moment
Sometimes you can’t fix the situation — but you can improve how you experience it.
- Imagery: Picture a safe, peaceful place
- Meaning: Find purpose in the struggle
- Prayer or mindfulness: Connect to something greater
- Relaxation: Breathe, stretch, or rest
- One thing in the moment: Focus on just one task
- Vacation: Take a brief mental break
- Encouragement: Remind yourself, “I can get through this.”
🌱 Remember
Distress tolerance doesn’t eliminate pain — it helps you ride the wave until it passes. Each time you use these skills, you strengthen your ability to stay grounded, respond wisely, and care for yourself with compassion.
If you’d like to learn how to use DBT skills to manage emotions, improve relationships, and build confidence, therapy can help.
📅 Start where you are. Healing begins here.
Schedule a free consultation at wanderandwisdom.com
A drop of resilience. A path to wholeness. 